by Sarah Rossey

The golden moment

There is a golden moment in writers’ meetings that I both dread and relish, every time. It’s that few seconds after you have finished reading your work, just before you look up from the page. You are filled with elation. What was conceived as an idea and hatched in a battle of words has now discovered flight. Your story is your secret no longer; it has left the nest and taken on a life of its own. 

This instant is fragile. What began with anticipation and catharsis in a flash becomes expectation and surprise. You look up from your page and see rippling through the audiences’ faces various opinions and responses. Their mouths open and let fly words of encouragement and vindication, barbed with suggestion and perspective. You have laid your story prone before an audience and no longer control it.

Why do we do this? What drives those who share their writing with their friends and family, those who perform it for strangers, those who publish it for an anonymous audience? I recently asked members of the Brookville writers’ group, Writer’s Block Party, to answer the question, “Why search for an audience?”, and this is what I discovered.

We crave validation.

“For me, it gives me the satisfaction of having finished a piece and by reading it aloud that makes me feel like I’m an actual writer, like my story is out, I’m legit.” Rachel 

“It means a lot for me to be able to try and relate those visions and things I see in this early stage. This is my beginning. I need all the help I can get so I appreciate all of your efforts.” Kirke 

“When I complete a draft, I need to rely on someone else’s critique. In other words, I have to have an audience. I have to have an audience.” John 

“One gift that reading to an audience brings me is feeling *listened to*. Many of us love to *tell* our stories but how often do we give someone our genuine, unhurried attention so that they can share theirs? When we read to each other we *give* each other our attention and I savor that gift.” Juanita 

We want to create shared experiences.

“I really like the idea of connecting with people through writing and sharing experiences” Amanda 

“Yes because as true expression writing to fulfill its purpose by reaching the readers and listeners. Otherwise you’re only talking to yourself.” Kirke

“Reading to an audience makes me feel part of a special community; there is a kind of adrenaline high that comes when finding the courage to speak into a mic in front of a group of people; when I receive affirmation from other writers and readers that affirmation both bolsters my confidence and humbles me at the same time; I feel blessed. When we read to each other, especially in the kind of setting we experience at the Fusion Cafe where we are crowded around in a quiet circle together I think the experience must be like “family time” and storytelling around a shared fire that enlivened people generations ago before the invention of TV. And I love being a part of that fired up, read around circle.” Juanita

“Something I really love about our get togethers is the time that we spend creating our own culture through the writing we do, food we share and experiences — instead of just being consumers of pop culture. And it is humbling! And exalting! I’m so glad to hear this is still the trajectory of the group, even after a couple years since it started.” Jessica

We desire to face our fears.

“I enjoy and have enjoyed sharing smiles with family and friends for years … I fear rejection from those I don’t know … but my heart and head tell me to keep on keepin’ on. And Bill tells me, ‘You’ll never know what you can do if you don’t try.’” Peggy

“My biggest concern in sharing is trying to explain that even though I write in the first person it is not always something that reflects my true feelings or beliefs. I’m using “me” as a character in the piece. I’m always concerned that something I’ve written, when I read it aloud, is perceived as being better than it is because, having spent a lifetime on the radio, I know how to convincingly read copy.” Joe

“Bolstered and Humbled! What a wonderful description of how I feel too. I speak with a lisp – minor they tell me, but I know it’s there. As a child I hesitated to speak to anyone I didn’t know because of it. Then in high school speech class the assignment was -Write and present a speech describing how to do something. I chose How to make Chocolate Chip Cookies…and I took samples. I was the only girl in the class…I got an A++ from the amazed teacher. I also learned that most people were more interested in what I had to say than in my imagined speech problem.” Peggy 

We believe it makes us better writers.

“Having the opportunity to publicly share my work takes my creative effort to another level entirely and it raises the bar for me as a poet since I want to impact my listeners” Patricia

“I definitely enjoy reading to an audience. I find that in order to fully connect with your audience, your story has to be able to paint a picture.” John

“If I’m writing for myself, privately, it’s purely creative catharsis. If I’m posting/publishing than my ego shows up, along with self doubt. It’s a challenge for me. It matters, right or wrong, to me if it’s well received, helpful, and/or well composed.” Laurie

The risky roller coaster

I discovered something about myself when I started coming to writers’ meetings that I haven’t been able to ignore. The roller coaster of publicly sharing my work is addicting. I long for the euphoria of hearing my voice carry across a rapt audience, big or small. I rely on the terror of not knowing how people will respond to my work to make me a better writer. And I need the inspiration of seeing others committing the same risky act to keep me moving forward. 

Our stories matter.