My Quarantine
Laurie Barrett
There we were in the auditorium, awaiting the president’s press conference as the notice from local news announced our governor’s decision to close the schools for two weeks. I didn’t ever believe it would come to this. I trusted all global governments and health systems wouldn’t allow it to touch us. Yet, there we were being dismissed. It felt surreal. It felt confusing. You mean, no alarm for two weeks? No paperwork for two whole weeks? I can get my laundry done, and go for a run whenever I want? Really?? Are you sure..??? Just as all the giddiness peaked, so did the wonderment of my students, some of whom are very needy in basic needs and mental health. What will happen to them over the coming days? What about school lunches? So many unanswered questions for all of us.
I cleaned up my room, packed up my belongings, and responsibly grabbed my laptop. We said our goodbyes and left for the weekend. Honestly, once I calmed I felt excited. I admit it, I wasn’t just looking forward to this time; I was excited. I was excited for this permission to rest and recuperation. I know it’s probably unpopular, but I stand by it. Teachers, therapists, aides, custodians, maintenance, administrators, and ALL the others who work in schools, we work damn hard everyday. We deplete ourselves mentally and physically because we simply care about our students. So these two weeks were looking like a self-care honeymoon.
I’m not naive and I’m empathetic to a fault. The first couple days of social distancing had me glued to local and national news. There was so much information and none of it was reassuring, but it was necessary. I could feel the anxiety rise. Thoughts of panic were beginning to sneak in. I quickly realized this is not a vacation. This is serious. This is scary, or at least has the potential to be horrific. Plans were canceled for the weekend as we hunkered in to abide by the recommendations.
By Monday, the helpers were clear and present. Teachers locally and nationally made themselves available for instruction and help. Small businesses near and far stepped up in ways to help their communities. Corporations pushed aside the typical bottom line greed to officer their services. A nearby hospital developed their own test and established testing procedures. After letting our worst get the worst of us, our best was shining through.
I got busy working steadily on projects that have been lingering. I started cleaning and doing laundry. I reached out to my neighbors to help in ways that will not risk their health. My hands needed something fun to do, so my creative energies guided me to completing an art piece for the bedroom. I tried writing, but the volume of words and emotions were too much for me to catch to put down on paper. We’ve been cooking and stockpiling meals since we’re not the best at keeping meals on hand. So together, my husband and I have been making daily meals and freezing the excess. This is how I’ve been dealing with the anxiety. I’ve been doing anything small with a definite endpoint that I can accomplish. I am getting rest, but as it turns out, it’s not as carefree as I had imagined.
At least for now, things feel calm. Here we are, on Day 3 of our two week quarantine/sabbatical. Already, we are learning some fundamentals that have been forgotten in our modern society.
We’re learning to slow down.
We are discovering creative ways to complete the necessary tasks and pass the time. We’re learning how to make due with less.
We are learning how to take care of each other and ourselves. We realize the importance of looking out for and helping our neighbors and those who are less fortunate. With less distractions and more challenges, we are forced to learn how to better cope.
Grace and patience are present as we are becoming increasingly tolerant. It’s okay if your kids are fighting in the background of our teleconference, because on the last call, my dog was barking at the mailman. We are all in similar situations. We are in this together. That package that was to be delivered by now, it’s okay that it’s late. I understand that my nail polish is trivial. It can wait.
It has become evident how much we rely on one another. Every job is important. Our society is a beautifully faceted, dynamic system that typically functions in smooth serendipity. However, we’ve become so accustomed to the efficiency that we’ve taken this construct for granted. Too many people and roles have been overlooked and under appreciated.
We are learning just how much we’ve taken for granted.
We are learning what is truly important.
It doesn’t do us any good to succumb to the hysteria if that’s not our reality. Fortunately, at this moment my family and I are safe and healthy. To stay calm in the moment, I have to stay in my circle of control. My circle is my home. This where I am. I am doing my part by staying home. If we each do our part to take care of what we can control, then we flatten the curve and can ease demand. I know where I fit in. I fit in my circle, here at home, loving and caring for my family. Hopefully, we will find ways to make the best of less than ideal. Whether that’s making art, binge watching The Office, or going for walks, it’s okay that we make the best of the situation.
As the quarantine continues, I will maintain my focus on what I can do in my circle. I will work on paperwork to ease the strain of deadlines and hopefully provide a continuation of care for my students. I will not attend mass. Instead, I will be an example that the church lives and breathes through us. I will offer what I can. I will share my gifts with the intention of validation and kindness.
Friends, none of this is easy. We’ve never seen this before. This is new and big. This is hard for many of us. To get through it, we need to stay focused and do what we can, when and where we can. Now is the time for kindness. Together, we will deal with the discomfort and hopefully come out stronger and closer for it. I hope that these lessons remain long after the danger passes, with our priorities properly calibrated for us to value one another the way we need to.
We are in this together. Stay home. Stay well. Stay kind.